In my first blog I wrote that praying was the #1 thing to do to see a change in your marriage. Hopefully you have begun. Now onto the #2 thing. Respect. There is so much great teaching on respecting your husband that I am going to give you a brief summary of my viewpoint and then lead you to some great links. No sense in reinventing the wheel here. After all the topic of respecting our husbands has been around since Jesus walked the earth.

First I will say I have in no way mastered this respect thing but I am so much further along that I feel comfortable in sharing some advice. What I have learned over the years after being a rude jerk to my husband at times is actually so simple. I would have given anything if someone would have showed me the errors of my ways. So I am telling you, you need to be a friend to him. Yep, it is that stinking simple. Just think of how you are with your girlfriends. I would hope you are considerate of her feelings, encouraging, speak nice, and unconditionally show love. These are all things that show you have respect for her. Now just demonstrate that same measure of regard to your husband. If you are thinking “well my girlfriends treat me way better than my husband and are more deserving of my respect” then you are basing your treatment of him on his performance and you are in the wrong. (I will always speak honestly and biblically when I share my viewpoints)  If you are passing judgement on your husband and denying him respect then you need to shift your thinking to one of obedience to Christ. You also need to know that men need to be respected for who they are, not for what they do. They need us to hold them in high-esteem and when we do you will see a huge change in the way they love you. It’s amazing how much influence a woman actually has in a relationship. We steer the ship or as Mark Gungor puts it When a husband feels he is being looked up to as the ‘head” in a relationship, he will automatically allow his wife to become the “neck”—she will be able to point her man in the right direction.

I have seen a huge increase in my husband’s love for me and also an increase in his productivity. When I am his cheerleader rooting him on he accomplishes so much more. There is a saying, behind a great man is a really great woman. Well, there you have it. You know you’re great, now make your husband feel great by showing him unconditional respect. If you need some help with ways to show respect then there is a blog post you should read. It shows dozens of ways of what respect looks like. The Peaceful Wife.

Thanks for reading, feel free to post a comment here or contact me personally or share your thoughts on The Helpmeets facebook page.

If you read my page “ABOUT ME-THE REASON WHY” then you know I wrote that there are two things you have to be willing to do as a wife that will put your marriage higher on the love totem pole than you could imagine. These two things are not to be taken lightly. They are the absolute root to reviving a flat-lining marriage or bringing a freshness to one that may just be stagnant. 

The first one most women would know to be true but don’t put enough stock into just how crucial a part it plays. It is prayer. You must commit to praying for your husband, and exactly what you want your marriage to be.  The cliche “prayer changes things”  is for real. But prayers can’t be answered until they are prayed. At the times when I have not made prayer the priority, those are the times that have resulted in me being the most aggravated. Whether I receive the response that I want or in the timing I would have liked, I always receive the comfort in knowing that I have asked God for it and He is aware of my desires. Our God being so good and faithful is going to provide me with exactly what He feels is necessary for me to have. I can’t be aggravated about that because above all the people I can go to for wisdom or comfort He is the One who cares for me the most. If you are unsure about how to pray or just get so sidetracked when you begin praying I offer some great links to books that can help with this. Trust me when I say it is a very common thing to begin making your grocery list in your head while praying. Fortunately there are solutions for this so check out some resources I have listed on my Recommended Reading page.

The second thing that a wife must commit to is something some women may never have known was mandatory. It is respect.  As Paul writes in Ephesians 5:33  “the husband must loves his wife and the wife must respect her husband.” Now our concern is not if the husband is living up to his part of the instruction as we are with our defined instruction. The wife MUST respect her husband. If you are thinking he has done some terrible things or is not worthy of your respect I am sure you have reason to think that, but regardless of your current feelings if you want to have a healthy, love filled marriage you’re going to have to put those feelings aside and show him respect. I promise you will see a difference in the love that he shows you if you will do this. Being respectful of your husband is the second most important thing you can do to improve your marriage. What does being respectful look like? I am going to cover this in my next blog post but in the meantime begin wiping the slate clean of any actions that may have caused you to lose the respect you had when you married him. After all he still is the same gift God gave you on your wedding day!