We pass in the hall on our way to separate rooms

The only time we’ll ever talk is when the monthly bills are due

We go to work, we go to church, We fake a perfect life

I’m past the point of giving a damn, All my tears are cried

It’s been so long since I’ve felt anything inside these walls

You can’t heal, you can’t hurt when you don’t feel at all

I used to cry and stay up nights and wonder what went wrong

It’s been hard but hearts can only do that for so long

We can’t just go on like this, Say the word, we’ll call it quits

You can go or you can stay, I won’t love you either way

–Chris Stapleton  “Either Way”

Powerful words in that song and heartbreakingly real for many marriages. When feelings like the ones in that song, begin to present themselves… you are treading dangerous ground.

You are about to enter “The Marriage Killing Field.”

Before Ken and I were married we met with a Pastor for premarital advice, like a lot of couples do and which I highly recommend. Gotta make sure you’re not getting hitched to an unequally yoked man, now! Well, during this one particular session with our Pastor he said something that has stuck with me the entire 29 years of my marriage. He said, “It’s not being angry or the arguments that destroy a marriage, it’s when you stop caring enough to be angry.  Even if you think you hate your spouse, there is still emotion there. It’s apathy that is the killer of a marriage.”  

I thought at the time, ‘now that’s profound.’ But I never felt how real it could be until I started becoming aware of all the struggles married couples go through. Then, I saw the importance of preventing the relationship from ever getting remotely close to that “field.”