I learned to play poker while I was living with my older brother Mike. Mike had only been home from Vietnam a couple of years and was living the bachelor life with a house full of guy roommates when he inherited me at the wild age of 16. I was too much for my Aunt to handle so she sent me from the only state I really had ever known, North Carolina, to go live with him in California in 1976. Poor choice on her part but that is another story.

While I lived with my brother I was a handful for him too but instead of trying to keep me from his lifestyle he just exposed me to it all and hoped I made good choices. I didn’t. In those 2 years I learned a whole lot of things, and Poker was one that I got to practice a lot.

I learned every type of Poker there was. I enjoyed the games and learning to bluff. I even had the excitement of playing Poker with Waylon Jennings in Lake Tahoe one night. His high bankroll pushed me out soon in the game but what a thrill and a memory.

All the types of Poker I learned then were based on the number of times you were allowed to raise. With a limit on the amount of the raise. This was all established before the game began. Now this style of playing could keep you in the game for a number of hours if you were a skilled player and could get somewhat boring. But it was usually played for the camaraderie not the money in our group.

I stopped playing Poker after I moved away from CA and the group of guys I was use to playing with. It was probably 10 years later after I moved to Texas that I was introduced to a Poker game called Texas Holdem and began playing it and I loved it! I loved the adrenaline of how fast you could possibly be out of the game or be raking in the big dollars.

For those that don’t know the game you are given the option at any time during the hand to say “I’m all in”. This means you are betting all the money you have before you that you will win that hand. The thrill is thinking that you have a great hand that is going to beat everyone who stays in and you will win a big load of money or that you are really good at bluffing them to the point that they say “Take it, it’s yours”. Either way it’s rousing. I love that feeling and I think everyone that plays the game loves it for that.

There is something connected to the act of pushing all those chips out there that is stimulating and liberating.  I believe that is the way it is supposed to feel in marriage.  Wives should experience that freedom with their husbands. We should not hold anything back, we should live with that feeling of being all in.  After all, this is the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with. The man that by now you have probably shared the depths of your heart with and who has seen every side possible you have to show, so why not throw caution and insecurities aside and do something bold? GO ALL IN and in this case you have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

What I am suggesting is that you take the initiative, take the risk, experience that adrenaline. If you have been wanting to spice up your marriage by being spontaneous then be spontaneous. If you want to be like the couples you see at the movies where their encounters always look so romantic, then be brave and do it!

Put on his cowboy hat, dance and sing for him. I guarantee you he will think you are way more sexy than any La La Land Hollywood actress. You are his muse and all he needs is you. So In the words of Darius Rucker:

Let yourself go, come on follow that feeling

Maybe something new is what you’re needing

Like a real life, let your hair down, feel alive,

When was the last time you did something for the first time

Ladies, we can contribute to the adventurous side of our marriage and we can keep our husbands intrigued with our boldness and desire to gratify him. Don’t let those sweet romantic ideas of yours just stay in your thoughts. Push those chips out there, GO ALL IN.