I recently heard a lady say her marriage was just hanging on by a thread. My reaction was “I hope that thread is Kevlar”.  If you are unfamiliar with thread, Kevlar is a commercial grade thread that is used on items that need strong seams such as work gloves, backpacks, mattresses, and bullet proof vests. It also is used on items that need to withstand high heat or be stretched some. So you can see why I hoped that the thread used to weave her marriage together was figuratively speaking Kevlar. Because what marriage doesn’t need to have reinforced seams, be stretched a little and be able to withstand those heated conversations.

Later I began to ponder the idiom of “hanging by a thread” I even went as far as looking it up to see what it implied. According to the Cambridge Dictionary “If a serious situation hangs by a thread then it means that even a slight change can decide what will happen and that a bad result such as death, failure etc. is likely”.

How ominous is that, living in a marriage that is being held together by a thread. Thinking that with one more pull the thread breaks and it’s bye bye marriage. So sad, but I suddenly could relate to her choice of words. I had been there. I had experienced that feeling of we are barely hanging on and my marriage is about to die.

 I did have a “Kevlar” thread holding my marriage together though.  It was the divine thread made of three cords that wasn’t going to be broken easily either. It held together long enough for us to get the help we needed. That help came from a conference called “Weekend to Remember”. We were fortunate enough to have some friends who knew the importance of having God woven into a marriage and they wanted to send us to this conference.

My husband was optimistic but I looked at it as a last-ditch effort and if I went I could at least say I tried. We attended that Weekend to Remember in 2004. Now in 2016 we have since gone back again and taken other couples from our church. We have bought tickets for wedding gifts and given it as a recommendation to other couples whose marriage is suffering, because we know first hand how God can work miracles in your marriage even when all that’s left is a single thin thread and you are making a last-ditch effort.

We were given some great information that weekend from wonderful speakers. The thing that had the greatest impact on restoring our marriage was the requirement of the Saturday night “Date Night”. We had a huge breakthrough on that night in which we isolated ourselves from everyone and stayed focused on just each other. We talked thru everything that had been stored in our hearts for years that we had been pulling from to hurt one another with. We were up most of the night but we eliminated it all. We were no longer hanging by a thread. We were woven so tight, even more so than the day we married.

I suggest if you are having any feelings that your marriage is hanging by a thread that you give God the chance to show you how He can be a part of your marriage and if possible attend a Weekend to Remember, neither will you regret. And never forget the Power of our God. He wants so much to restore your marriage!

I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now you like me. ” Remember this from Sally Field’s Academy Award acceptance speech? It was misquoted a lot as “You like me, you really like me”. Either way the sentiment is the same. To feel liked is so endearing and a huge compliment, perhaps more than hearing I love you. Love often comes in the sense of obligation and what we were taught to do. We were told you must love at all times, show love, love your neighbor as yourself, etc. For a married couple, saying I love you can certainly come across as a habitual saying as you part ways or end a text/phone call.  The requirement of love is even written in your vows; do you promise to love, honor and so forth. Yes, I promise no matter how rough it gets, for better or for worse and all that jazz, that I will keep on loving you. Unfortunately it doesn’t always happen. There are couples who divorce but will still say they love each other and want the best for the other but can’t stay married. In my opinion I don’t believe they would divorce if they really liked each other.  I believe a couple achieves a stronger bond to their relationship if they like each other, I mean truly like the characteristics of their spouse. It certainly plays a vital part in my marriage. 

Going thru the motions of loving your husband can trivialize your relationship. You each have your own personalities and the actions you display may not always sit well with the other. You start feeling like this is just not that great of a marriage. You may think you are always in opposition to him or put off by his behavior. You then become distant and begin living as a discontent married couple. Not a good path to be on! You will want to redirect this dislike for your husband quickly and I have a suggestion as to how. Try focusing on the things you like about him, then begin to speak some of those things out loud to him everyday. For example, “ I really like you when I see you engaging in our children’s lives”, or “I really like that you workout and take care of yourself.” I believe him hearing of the things he does that excite you and make you proud will be an encouragement to him to do more of the things that make you like him. It will also redirect your heart to recognize more of what you do like about him then dislike. I also suggest that you look at yourself and where your critical spirit is coming from. Are you making his irritating behavior a bigger deal than it really is? So many times our husband’s behavior that we don’t like is actually blown out of proportion as a result of our own issues or bad mood. Always take time to look within first. Being critical can prevent you from seeing and appreciating all that’s truly likable about your husband. After all, we may all need to feel loved but we really want to be liked too.